Long story short, my back stabbing best friend Melody ratted me out to Phil and here I am on a forced date with Dr. Phil. He is actually a doctor and he looks too fine for his own good. I am almost certain his female patients fall ill on purpose just to see him. How did I meet him? You ask. Well, I attended the University of Johannesburg while he attended the School of medicine Pretoria. We met at a mutual friend’s birthday party in JB and instantly had that “we are strangers in a foreign land” connection but it soon went beyond that as we became friend’s and eventually started dating and it was wonderful. I was head over ankles, toes and heels in love with him and he was crazy about me. It was so bad; I couldn’t have a conversation without talking about him half the time. He would pop in just to say hello, lavished me with love and made me so happy, my friends were rotten with envy. We were in love and everything was perfect. He was perfect. To me, He would never and could never do anything to hurt me; he was my St. Phil, different from all the rest. Hmmm… how wrong I was.
Remembering still hurts, so I bury it all instead.
Remembering still hurts, so I bury it all instead.
Currently, we are sitting in this classy five star restaurant and He hasn’t taken his eyes off me since we sat to dinner which was ten minutes ago. I am getting uncomfortable.
“Dr. Phillip Eseosa” I drawl his name giving him an even gaze with my chin up, twirling my red wine in the crystal wine glass. He raises a naturally well groomed eyebrow and gives me a sly side smile. I ignore his beautiful facial features and continue what I intended to say “Why have you brought me to this private, expensive restaurant?” I ask lazily. “What do you have up your sneaky sleeve that has made you order this very expensive bottle of red wine?” He does not answer. He moves his gaze to my lips.
“You seem quite fixated on my lips so read them when I tell you that if your mission is to bed me one last time for good old memories sake, it won’t happen. You best believe that.” I say as I angrily drop the glass of wine on the table. Why am I still so angry at him? He hasn’t said a damn thing to warrant my outburst. Calm down Mona, be calm. Damn it! I am so angry.
“You have every right to still be angry with me. I am not surprised that time hasn’t healed the wounds I inflicted on your heart but all I am…”
“What? So now you are a poet?” I shake my head; gulp down the contents of my wine glass, grab my purse and I am on my feet in very few swift moves.
“Thank you for the wine, it was exquisite.” I say snidely “Don’t ever come looking for me.”
He doesn’t say anything till I am about to walk past him “Lisa, please don’t leave” He pleads calmly and I almost return to the table but I walk past instead. Next thing I know, he is in front of me, strong arms are around my waist and I am pulled towards solid male physique.photocredit: Pinterest.com
This unexpected gesture sends my heart racing as the seductive scent of his cologne hovers around my nose and I swear, I just want to be in his arms again like old times. Memories long buried waltz in front of me.
“What do you want Phil?”
He turns me around and wipes the tears streaming down my face with his blue handkerchief. I didn’t even realize I was crying. Good job Mona, this is just great! He holds me and leads me to our table.
“I am sorry to barge in on you the way I have. It was not my intention. I came back into the country a year ago to start private practice and I swear to you, you were the first person I wanted to find but I could not summon the courage to especially with the way things ended between us but when I saw you at the mall, believe me, I knew that instant that my fate is bound to yours and even though I know I do not stand a chance, I just cannot give up on you…. Lisa, there’s no other way to say this. I am sorry. I am sorry for everything, for the harassment, the pain, the hurt, for everything you went through because of me. You did not deserve any of it. I was an asshole, a douche bag, name it but I love you. Monalisa, I am in love with you. Always have been…” it was my turn to stare at him because I lack the means to comprehend anything at the moment.
All I could think of was the pain that rendered me speechless and brought me to my knees the moment I walked into Phil’s two bedroom apartment on South Street, Pretoria, St. Valentine’s Day 2013. I had decided to surprise Phil after giving him series of reasons why I would not be able to spend Valentine’s Day with him meanwhile I had planned to surprise him by hiding out in his bedroom the day before Valentine as I had a spare key and I knew he would have classes during the day. However, when I walked in, Dova, that snake who was his neighbor, that two faced conniving bitch who was always so nice to me whenever I visited Phil was straddling him,
her hips moved rhythmically in circular motions as she rode him with her eyes closed; his right hand was squeezing her left breast as his mouth suckled her right nipple his waist moving frantically in tune with hers. She opened her eyes and saw me staring at them in shock. My presence probably made her climax because she rode him faster and moaned louder which made Phil throw his head back moaning as he asked her to give it to him harder. That was it, I yelled, gabbling words like a mad woman and I was indeed mad because I momentarily lost my senses. That kind of pain was alien to me. I had never been so hurt and broken, never had my trust betrayed like that and I did not know how to handle it. If I could go back, I would drag me out of that room and give me some good ol’ spanking that would have set my brain and emotions aright.
Phil threw her off him the moment he opened his eyes and saw me. He quickly wore a trouser saying I should hear him out that he could explain. What the hell was he saying? What did he want to explain? That I did not see what I just saw? I could not get up, I just sat there crying and saying incoherent rubbish. A wrapped up Dova in the duvet I got Phil for his birthday said “She knows now babe, there’s no need to hide anymore. Please send the skank out. We have some ravaging to complete.” My mind went dark as I attacked her like a crazed animal, screaming, scratching her face and pulling her hair while Phil struggled to drag me off her. Adrenaline pumping through my veins, I landed several fiery slaps on Phil’s face, and left his apartment with my things. I never knew I could get that mad. The sad part that still kills me is He let me go, he didn’t come after me, he did not send Dova away neither did he ask me to stay. He just let me go. That hurt more than anything else in the world.
The following week, Dova traced me to Pretoria, ambushed me with some girls warning me to stay away from “her man” and they beat me up nicely. I would have died that day but for the help of Mr. Samuel Bansi, the man God used to save me. He was driving past that path when he saw a near lifeless me bleeding severely from a knife wound inflicted on my right arm. He rushed me to the hospital and he took care of the bills. I spent five days in the hospital. My left cheek and right eye was swollen for days from the beat down. I also sustained a knife wound, a broken arm and minor bruises on my body. Phil found out about the incident through our mutual friend Dele Ogunnusi. He called endlessly and came to town to see me but I did not want anything to do with him*. Not that I was afraid of Dova, God forbid. I was stark raving mad at him and all I wanted to do was cause him immense pain so seeing him was not in the books. I was in my final year and I all I wanted was to go home.
Here I am now; in this fancy restaurant with the man that not only tore my heart to shreds but almost cost me my life, listening to insane professions of undying love mixed with contrite apologies for past misdeeds. It’s crazy but the truth is, I am still in love with him. At this point, a waiter arrives and Phil signals him to come back.
“Lisa, I wish I could change the past, if I could, I would but I can’t, I…” He pauses. He looks dejected and I actually feel sorry for him.
“Please, say something.” After a few seconds of silence, I ask “Why didn’t you beg me to stay?”
“What?” He asks obviously confused.
“When I caught you in bed with Dova, why did you not beg me to stay? Why didn’t you ask her to leave?
He sighs and runs his hand through dark curly hair “I was a coward. When I saw you on floor, babe, I just, I knew there was absolutely nothing I would have said to you that would make any sense. I did not ask you to stay because I could not face you.”
“Stupid. If you had begged me to stay and driven Dova out, I would have stayed. I’m not saying I would have forgiven you instantly but we would have worked things out.”
“I didn’t know that.” He says quietly.
“Whatever. I really am not hungry. Can we go?”
“Lisa, I am trying to make things right, please just…”
“Just what Phil? What do you want me to say? That I forgive you? I love you too? Let’s kiss and make up, let’s get married and have babies? ”
“Yes Mona, I need you to say all that and mean it because God knows I am dying to have you back in my life.”
“Why now? I have to ask because I just don’t get it. If you hadn’t seen me at that mall, will you be sitting there right now saying all of this?
He smiles “probably.”
“How do you mean?”
He pulls out his phone and shows me chat messages between him and Dele our mutual friend from JB. He got in touch with him a week before our meet at the mall. Phil basically had my contact details a week before we met at the mall. This is confusing.
“So why did you not call or chat me up?”
“I wanted to several times but I couldn’t. I didn’t know how you would receive me.”
I shake my head “You are a coward.”
He laughs “Only with you Lisa.” There is a fleeting inept silence before he says “Monalisa Okafor, I need you.” The resolve in every word he just spoke breaks down all my defenses and I don’t trust myself anymore.
“Things don’t work that way Phil, I‘m sorry. They just don’t.
“Do you still feel anything for me other than anger?”
“I have to go.” I stand up calmly this time.
He sighs sadly. “Let me drop you off.”
I do not argue. He signals the waiter, tips him and we leave.
We chit chat all the way to my house and I feel like we are friends once more. He pulls up in front of my flat and before I could say good night, he moves towards me to kiss me but plants a lingering kiss on my forehead. I know he wants to kiss me, I am dying to feel those lips on mine again so I kiss him instead and baby, dare I say that this kiss is getting me all hot and bothered so I pull back and literally run out of the car. I give Em the full gist of course.
I even strip teased him in the revealing cat woman suit I bought to tease Tega and Phil took me to the moon in it. He is better in bed than I remember and by the time we were done, I could not move or feel my legs. I know, it’s not right but I can’t help it. I am having fun, I feel young again and Phil is the only man I want to be with. There is a little snag though, I am still seeing Tega. Although we have not seen or contacted each other since our last meet (that’s the rule) our next catch up is due in three days. I have to end this but I don’t want to rush things. I don’t know where this relationship with Phil will lead yet.
Melody and I are discussing the various ways I could dump Tega when the doorbell rings.
“People have to stop interrupting our girly time like this” Melody says and goes to check who is at the door. “Mona, someone is here to see you.”
“Who is it? I’m not expecting anyone” I walk up to the door and before me is Tega’s ex-military driver.
“Good evening, my boss asked me to give this to you.” He hands me a small bag. I look inside and it seems there is nothing in it so I reach in, what I feel is cold, I bring it out and scream, Melody joins in when she sees what I am holding. We both run out and sitting outside our gate is a brand new 2015 Mercedes- Benz G-class. I cannot contain my joy. What??? Tega got this for me?
His driver gives strict instructions not to call him. “Do not call him, he will call you himself” he says in a stiff, no nonsense tone but I don’t care; I hug him joyfully and tell him I understand. He conceals a small smile as he leaves.
Later while we had calmed down, Em and I discussed how difficult it would be to let Tega go.......